About Me

Name: maan

Location: Philippines

i'm a total coffee addict. a hypomanic who runs and flips wild in the wards. has to constantly check on my schedule not because i forget things, but because i just obsessive-compulsively do so. i love singing and dancing so much, i just love having fun. and don't mess around with animals when i'm around, unless you want to be scalpeled down to your bones (just kiddin').

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The moment Janna told me about the books of Dan Brown, I knew that these are the books that I should be reading. It got me a little bit obsessed that I searched for it in every bookstores I go to. Unfortunately for me, my discovery about his books had been too late because it’s out of stock wherever I go. So I turned to internet for help, I had to read about it, anything about it! Maybe the reason it got me really intrigued is that the Da Vinci’s Code involves a lot of art and Catholic Church stuff and a lot of history: subjects that have always got me interested. I read some critiques about it and discovered that there are a lot of books disproving Brown’s books, pointing that Brown has not been factual about his claims. What the heck, whether his details about the Catholic Church or the Roman art or any conspiracies are accurate or not, it doesn’t matter that much to me. It’s not that I don’t care whether people are talking nonsense and bull**** about the Church. What I mean is that it’s the blending of these different and even contrasting elements into a brilliant story that stuns me. And in case that his information are really true and accurate, for me it adds as a major bonus, an addition to my understanding of the world. So I waited patiently to discover his genius.

I was right to have written Angels and Demons in my wishlist. And I was grateful to Jo for looking it for me. I’ve finished reading the book last Thursday. The last chapters were full of suspense and a lot of twists that my hands were already glued to the back cover of the book. I couldn’t stop turning the pages. My high expectations of the book were met even further. Just reading a few chapters of the book had me information loaded already. There are a lot of things mentioned in the book, particularly about the Catholic Church that somehow made a confirmation of my own theories about the Church. And about Faith. I was raised as a Catholic but I never believed that by only doing the Church rituals would I be able to glorify the Greatness of God. In fact, until now, I am still confused with the real significance and implications of intercessions. Not that I don’t believe in saints and angels, the truth is I really look up to them, for having such great faith and for fighting for it. I may not have the same strong virtues that they have, but I am moved by the power of God that has been touching my life ever since. I appreciate God’s daily miracles. I really don’t think that God will preferably attend to my needs over others just because I have a padrino.

Anyway, I guess the real conflict only comes when there are extremes of doing Science or doing Religion. When we become fanatics of either world. Both are just tools to understand the meaning of life, neither is life itself. It should complement each other, not contradict each other. It may sound impossible, but it can be done. That is if we’re going to allow for those both worlds to mature, not be stuck dead in their present existence, fearing that moving forward would ensure their end. The war between these worlds continues not because they are contradictory by nature, but because humans are their advocates. And humans are survivors by nature. Humans would do anything to fight for their faith’s survival.

The story was also interesting because of the detailed description of the laboratories, the plazas, the churches, and the art pieces. It was like a traveling experience for me. It was nice to learn more about architecture and the major schemes of design used during Bernini’s time. I would love to see those places someday. Ha! Me and my love in Rome!!!

I’m home alone, sipping another cup of coffee, making my post-Christmas blog. My parents are visiting my uncle in Lourdes hospital who had dyspnea due to yet unknown reason. I’m supposed to go to a party this evening. I have a choice of either going to my own highschool reunion or to Robert’s highschool reunion. However, I can’t come to either of the two due to some unfortunate circumstances which I prefer not elaborating in my blog. I just soothe myself by thinking that there’ll be another reunion party next year, and then the next year, and then the following year…so there’s no point of succumbing into a serious melancholy just because I missed a single party. Besides, I’m having a party of my own here at home…you know, me and the dogs. (haha!)

Maybe you’re already sensing that I’m not in my highest Christmas spirit. Yep, you’re thinking it right. It’s actually the first time I missed a Noche Buena. No dinner set on the table, no gift-giving, no Christmas hugs and kisses. Actually, my mom cooked a Noche Buena for us and there really were gifts to open. But it’s just that nobody’s in the mood. So I decided to sleep right through it but failed. My eyes were close but my mind was so hyperactive. Those neurons were synapsing nonstop. Haay…the sadness…

When I woke up the next morning, my parents were in a brighter mood so we ate our Noche Buena for breakfast. I was relieved to finally see the smiles on their faces. And yes, I was glad that my mom made that hot, thick and rich chocolate drink that I used to love when I was a kid. We opened our presents and I was happy when my mom opened my gift for her. Good thing I bought the right size coz I’ve been worrying that it would not fit her. I gave my dad a new belt because I don’t know what else to give him. He has a lot of clothes already (buti pa siya) and I know that if I give him a new pen or a pair of shades or even a book, he’ll lose it in just a matter of days. I received a new leather wallet and a new shirt. Gee, I was so glad to receive the wallet cause I’ve been planning to buy a new one anyway. And it’s actually the one I like. Very feminine but not too kikay.

I spent my Christmas afternoon with my boyfriend’s family. I ate a lot of spaghetti and a lot of salad (ever heard of macaroni fruit salad?). I was so bloated, I couldn’t even make a single move. Robert’s mom was worried I was gonna pass out or something. They were amazed to see me chasing Marty around the house some minutes later. I was so makulit after that, as in, there must be something in tita Ellen’s spaghetti, something that has a morphine-like effect on me. Anyway, I was glad my Christmas didn’t turn out to be as bad as I thought. Maybe it didn’t have a good start but it definitely had a good end.

I’m trying to enjoy my short Christmas break. Actually it’s not really a break as in a vacation or something. It’s more of an extension of study hours that I need for the exams when I get back to school in January. Yep, after all the Christmas feasting and mayhem, I’ll be plunging into a pitless pool of exams. That’s why I’m planning to increase my caloric intake this season so that at least I’ll have something to burn during exams week. Talk about getting nauseously bloated of too much eating.

I’m so happy that I got the gift at the top of my wishlist. It’s the Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. It’s actually out of stock already in National Bookstores. At least in Manila. I guess everyone wants it for Christmas. I’m also supposed to give it as an exchange gift but I was late with my Christmas shopping. I think the person who gave me the book bought the last copy in Robinson’s Place. Anyway, the last week in school was spent looking for an alternative exchange gift. I was determined to give the second object in the wishlist which is a vcd of the Romantic Era of Samurai X. I thought it was easy to find. My judgment failed me because I ended up asking Nina’s boyfriend to buy it for me in Cubao. I just hope that the recipient would really enjoy that vcd.

Anyway, I accompanied Rhen in her search for her exchange gift. Ramil asked for a puppy so we looked for a puppy that would fit our budget of Php 300. We went first to Cartimar and saw a lot of cute puppies. I thought I fell in love with the small Shih Tzu. That’s the major problem with me whenever I’m in a pet shop. It only takes 3 minutes of looking into their cute round eyes and they could already get me captivated. If only nobody’s looking, I’ll slip one of those cuties inside my uniform and take it home. As expected, we went out of Cartimar empty handed. We can’t possibly buy any of those puppies with only 300 bucks in hand. So we opted to buy a puppy of a lesser breed. Sta. Cruz is quite the perfect place for that. I recalled that puppies of local breed are being sold there in sidewalks. We found them near the bridge and I must say that it’s not a good location for any kind of business. The stench coming out of the river was so strong. Anyway, the puppies being sold there were also cute. They instinctively huddle close to us as if saying “Buy me! Take me home with you! The stench of the river is killing me! Quick!” Not to mention their sad eyes staring at me. If only I could take them all home. The sight of them made me really sad. I could only imagine different tragic scenarios that could happen if nobody buys these puppies. It’s either they’ll be sold as pulutan (Azucena de leche), die of parasitic infections or die of lung collapse due to the stench. Rhen bought a small white male puppy. The puppy looked sad or sleepy (I’m not sure). The poor thing wouldn’t even move. I guess he’s just too small and too young to be separated from his mother. I just hope that Ramil would really take good care of the puppy. This puppy is much more fortunate than the others.

We held our Christmas party in Mina’s house in Cavite. The food was great, the place was great, the music was…well, I was afraid I’m gonna memorize the song because it’s the only song being played the whole evening. But in general, the party was great. We played some games, exchanged gifts and took a lot of pictures. Y gave me two dolls: one is a Victorian porcelain doll and the other one is a voodoo doll. I’m planning to bring the voodoo doll during FCM class. Rhen gave me a purple piggy bank which makes a lot of sense because I always end up penniless. We really had a great time but as always, I had to go home before my curfew so our fun was cut short.

I didn’t come to school today. No, I didn’t oversleep and I wasn’t that tired to get up from bed either. It’s just that I felt that there’s no need to go to school today and that there’s even much more that could be accomplished by staying home and reading my books. Well, aside from that, I’d have to admit that somehow, no matter how I control it, my concerns about the college’s issues have been overriding my thoughts and emotions lately, that sometimes I catch myself plotting different schemes (well, not that ones that involve egalitarianism and the like). I can’t help but wonder if there is really a future for me in this university. I might be able to get through my clerkship and internship smoothly (hopefully) but what then after that? Will I be recognized by the prestigious societies? Will I be allowed to do my residency in certain hospitals? And if ever I get accepted, won’t I be given that uncomfortable questioning look whenever people learn that I am from that university?

I should have my grenade launcher in my school locker ready because I’ll never know when I’m gonna use it. Just yesterday, the culprit of all my miseries stood proudly in front of the class, giving us a lecture about how to use this particular primitive statistics computer program. No, I am not exaggerating, the program is really primitive, as in an archaic piece of thing that Blaise Pascal might have used. The program looks like Pascal or Foxplus (if you’re not familiar with these, it’s because people don’t use it anymore. don’t ask why I know them) wherein you have to learn to use all those shortcut keys as well as the keys in the first row of the keyboard (the F1, F2, so on and so forth). You might as well throw your mouse away (in short, pitch in!) because you won’t need it, the program does not recognize any command from it. And also when you want to save your program, you have to write everything: the drive name, file name and then the extension (just like when you’re using DOS). Well, the dweeb who seemed to be enjoying the lecture (sometimes the feeling that you’re teaching something that people are so ignorant about is so empowering) went on and on, insensitive to the coldness of the stares that students were giving her. But at least, she was generous enough to give us special tips on how to go about using the computer (she wanted us to become computer whiz like her, you know) like what that Start button at the bottom left-hand corner of the Windows screen can do, how to open a program, how to save, and how to exit the program. Oohh, I feel like an expert already!

Of course, how can we forget about her very supportive staff? They wouldn’t miss that lecture for anything in the world. If they were not there, who would attend to the queen dweeb’s special needs? So they secured their places among the students and tried to listen to the lecture attentively and avidly. The bouncer of the group, a.k.a. paramecium (kindly refer to my She’s famous pala entry), appeared happily inside the classroom, wearing a white coat. Yes, a wannabe in that prestigious, most-coveted white coat. I thought I had a sudden vein rupture in my neck upon the sight of her. My colleagues and I have been burning our brain cells, ingesting anything that might keep us awake during exam nights, gnawing on every page of our books, and pushing ourselves beyond our physiologic limit just to have the right and the privilege to wear that white coat! The nerve! She must have felt that by wearing the white coat, she would finally be granted the respect that she’s trying so hard to get. Schmuck! Anyway, she listened to the lecture so assiduously, but can’t seem to grasp the concept of the subject matter still because I swear I heard the little wheels slowly turning inside her tiny brain four seats away from her. Maybe it had been too much for her to think and breathe at the same time because after a couple of minutes, her brain went into hibernate mode, she was already dozing off to sleep. The poor tiny neurons at least have an energy-saving defense mechanism. The other member of the staff sat one seat apart from her ally (maybe from fear of being attacked…paranoid!) and gave us all her frozen evil smile as she passed by. Like her friend, she fell asleep and failed to give her moral support all throughout the lecture.

It might have been the perfect time to blast the trio off, to see their body parts fly into the air, but then I thought that what the heck was I thinking. I am being so low, low, low. Aside from the fact that I would have to relocate my classmates into an underground clamshell, it would take months (or at least a year depending on the bidding status) to rebuild the College of Medicine again. And that would delay us another year. Seriously, I’ve been thinking that the worst thing that these dweebs can do to me is to transform me and become a dweeb like them. I can’t let that happen. So I just sank in silence and chew my pride. The right time for them to suffer the wrath of people they injured would come. I don’t necessarily have to initiate it.