An illusionist, is someone who weaves those dreams for others
Illusions are dreams that come to surface when we least expect
An illusionist, is someone who weaves those dreams for others
An illusionist, is someone who weaves those dreams for others
[x] my journal
[x] the illusionist's profile
[x] my favorite things
[x] nostalgia
[x] my porcelain doll collection
[x] my miniature collection
[x] leave a message
[x] links
[x] previous items
[x] archives
__________________
Credits
Design by Photokicho.
Brushes by Annika Von Holdt.
About Me
- Name: maan
- Location: Philippines
i'm a total coffee addict. a hypomanic who runs and flips wild in the wards. has to constantly check on my schedule not because i forget things, but because i just obsessive-compulsively do so. i love singing and dancing so much, i just love having fun. and don't mess around with animals when i'm around, unless you want to be scalpeled down to your bones (just kiddin').
- doc Karlito
- doc NRQ
- doc Margie
- doc Jannah
- doc Nina
- atty Dyanis
- Kyx Babzy
- Buboy
- Mike Velarde
- Raf
- Ayma
- Odezza
- UP Biochemistry Batch 2002
Sunday, August 31, 2008
para kay YZAI!!
posted @ 8:43 PM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Quiet time
Approximately 8 hours prior to my board exams, I got stuck in the middle of an island at Lawton, surrounded by flood waters. It was raining really hard and I didn't have an umbrella and jacket. I was kinda nervous cause I haven't really finished reviewing and it seemed like I'll be spending the night at 7-11 reading my notes. If not for Marky I would probably get to Chrissie's apartment maybe the next day because I couldn't get any cab that would take me there. Anyway, he found me looking like a "basang sisiw" who was kinda irritated and frustrated. He treated me to coffee before taking me to Chrissie's place. I just enjoy spending some quiet time with my baby...
warm and comfy in my baby's jacket
posted @ 2:09 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Officially an MD
It was not an easy ride. Well, I guess nobody would every say otherwise. Like most doctors who took the licensure exam, it must have been also one of the most important and the most challenging moments of my life. But unlike most of them, it was difficult and nerve wrecking for me not only because it would give me the right to practice, to be officially called a "doctor," or because I don't want to be the talk of the town as the "the one" who didn't make it, but because it weighed down on me as a real life-or-death situation. My life and my mom's life depend on it tremendously that there really was no room for failure. And I'm so glad and thankful thhat God is really good...He was with me all the way. He gave me a job to somehow sustain my family's needs while I'm reviewing for the boards (thanks Glenn), sent angels who generously lent their books, samplex, and reviewers (thanks a lot Karl and Mac), friends who continuously cheered for me through text and emails, a crazy friend like Chrissie who welcomed me in her apartment so I wouldn't have to come from Las Pinas early in the morning for the exams (also thanks for the coffee and the sounds!), and a loving boyfriend who's always been with me to cheer me on (muwahugs baby!).
I also had series of panic attacks. In fact, I really thought of not appearing on the exam date because I felt that I wasn't really prepared. I just took a leave from work only a week prior to the exam and that was the only time that I started madly flipping through everything! To make things worse, I was also having a PMS (premenstrual syndrome) days before the exam so I wasted about 2 days lying on bed, feeling nauseated and stressed.
When I arrived at Chrissie's apartment, we were in an elated mood. We were optimistic that we'll really be doctors in 2 weeks. We were boosting our confidence by recalling some people who were struggling through med school but still were able to pass the boards in one take. That was mean, I know. Anyway, I was kinda suprised because it seemed that I was the only one who was not familiar with some "good luck charms" for the boards. Chrissie dragged me to Red Ribbon to buy some empanada. Another one is wearing anything red. I was laughing at Chrissie when she wore all her red undies. I thought it was weird.
The feeling that I wasn't really prepared for the exams grew stronger on the first day when I arrived at the College of Holy Spirit. I was carrying 3 reviewers and discreetly reading some notes when I noticed that nobody was carrying any reviewer, people looked confident in their white coats, smiling and greeting each other, as if it's just an ordinary day at the campus! And most people were in red. I thought it was just one of Chrissie's wild ideas but I was proven wrong. There was even a lady who wore a red top matched with red open toe shoes revealing her red pedicure. And the magic empanada! Yes, it was indeed the official lucky charm that only I don't know about. Some people even brought boxes of it. Now I felt that my fighting chance for the passing the boards was starting to diminish. I was not in red and I don't have empanada. And I thought that it was only for the first day of exams. People continued wearing their red apparel and munching empanadas till the last day of exams.
The difficult moment while taking the boards exams was not really during the exam proper...it was during the 10 to 15 minutes of silence and apprehension while sitting and waiting for our exams to be distributed. It was during these moments that I had flashbacks of my years in med school, images of me sitting in the classroom chatting with my seatmates while the professor was yanking about a particular disease that I hope somehow made its way to my neurons somewhere in my brain. It was also during these tensed moments that I got images of me and my dad, and suddenly my eyes got misty with tears. The first subject was Biochemistry. I managed to have one round of reading on it. I was praying so hard that it would suffice...I was relying on luck and on 4 years of biochemistry lectures in college.
I almost fainted during the first day because of starvation. I thought crackers would be enough to last me for the whole day. Good thing Chrissie shared with me some of her empanadas. Now I believed it was really the "lucky empanada" otherwise I'll be losing consciousness on my exam day. So on the succeeding days I brought with me some power chocolate bars (courtesy of Marky) and some canned coffee. Important tip for the future examinees: Load up!
For me, Anatomy was the worst. I felt really bad about it because I spent more time on it compared to other subjects. It made me feel like I didn't study at all. And Kandi and I were laughing at some items which focused on the physiological basis of arousal in men, like the erection and ejaculation. I think I was able to answer those questions not mainly based on Snell textbook but on some issues of FHM and Cosmo.
After the boards, I completely withdrew myself from the world. This was the time for deep contemplation and sleep. I rarely get up from bed. I found comfort under my blanket. I only get up at night to eat and take a bath. And then I go to hibernation again. The thought that the exam results would be unfavorable was so unberable that I'd rather sleep again. That anatomy exam...grrr...
But God works in mysterious ways...I passed. And so were all my friends who took the board exams. We were blessed.
posted @ 7:12 AM
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Should get a PF
ahem...ahem...professional pala ah...and so should I start getting paid? haha
posted @ 12:25 PM
I got scared and had panic attack again, and so I decided to blog, but then I saw this from Yzai's blog, so inggitera me strikes again, so here it is...
posted @ 12:09 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
An angel in the midst of sadness
Nia Alicia Rabago Jackson
July 6, 2008
She's a little angel sent down from the heavens to enrich our family with love...she came to us exactly 2 years after dad left us to go to a better place.
posted @ 9:15 AM
Year 2003...Manila...movie date with friends...who would think that...
posted @ 9:02 AM
As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
posted @ 8:01 AM
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Insanity Breaks
My day starts at 5am, plunging early in traffic to get to work at Makati. Good thing korean kids are hardworking students, generally speaking, so there's almost no problem teaching them Bio stuff. They're quick to learn and eager to do homework stuff, otherwise, their strict korean parents might cut off their millions worth of allowance and out-of-the-country-vacation privileges. After the tutorial classes, I go straight to UP Manila to grab a quick lunch and study at the Med library. After choosing a suitable study area (one of those claustrophobic places in the library), I open my book and then start reading the part where I stopped the day before. And then few minutes later, I lift the pages and start measuring the thickness of the pages that remains unread. Then sigh in frustration. Probably an hour later, my chest starts hurting, I feel my pulse racing...I'm going into panic mode again. Realizing how many days are left for the boards make me wanna scream hysterically and then faint...black out. Play dead. There were already 2 people who suggested that I'll take the February boards instead of this August, considering all the other stuff that I need to do everyday besides reviewing. I've also thought of that but waiting for another 6 months is just too long. I must remain brave and should take the risk (*gulp*). I dunno...I'm not really sure how I'm going to pull this off...
the eyebags that've transformed already into luggage bags...
i'm also having pimple break outs...
the different coping mechanisms: (1) study really really hard, (2) stare blankly at open spaces,
(3) give in to the insanity by unbreakable laughter...
...or (4) just be happy and confident about it
posted @ 9:20 AM
Saturday, June 07, 2008
We're expecting a baby girl!
There will be a new bootilicious-femme-fatale addition to the Rabago clan coming this June. It's my big sister's first baby...(and you were thinking...)...name still undisclosed. We're all excited. Sadly, I would get to see my niece maybe after 2-3 years, the next time my sister gets home here in the country.
posted @ 11:05 AM
para kay YZAI!!
posted @ 8:43 PM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Quiet time
Approximately 8 hours prior to my board exams, I got stuck in the middle of an island at Lawton, surrounded by flood waters. It was raining really hard and I didn't have an umbrella and jacket. I was kinda nervous cause I haven't really finished reviewing and it seemed like I'll be spending the night at 7-11 reading my notes. If not for Marky I would probably get to Chrissie's apartment maybe the next day because I couldn't get any cab that would take me there. Anyway, he found me looking like a "basang sisiw" who was kinda irritated and frustrated. He treated me to coffee before taking me to Chrissie's place. I just enjoy spending some quiet time with my baby...warm and comfy in my baby's jacketposted @ 2:09 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Officially an MD
It was not an easy ride. Well, I guess nobody would every say otherwise. Like most doctors who took the licensure exam, it must have been also one of the most important and the most challenging moments of my life. But unlike most of them, it was difficult and nerve wrecking for me not only because it would give me the right to practice, to be officially called a "doctor," or because I don't want to be the talk of the town as the "the one" who didn't make it, but because it weighed down on me as a real life-or-death situation. My life and my mom's life depend on it tremendously that there really was no room for failure. And I'm so glad and thankful thhat God is really good...He was with me all the way. He gave me a job to somehow sustain my family's needs while I'm reviewing for the boards (thanks Glenn), sent angels who generously lent their books, samplex, and reviewers (thanks a lot Karl and Mac), friends who continuously cheered for me through text and emails, a crazy friend like Chrissie who welcomed me in her apartment so I wouldn't have to come from Las Pinas early in the morning for the exams (also thanks for the coffee and the sounds!), and a loving boyfriend who's always been with me to cheer me on (muwahugs baby!).I also had series of panic attacks. In fact, I really thought of not appearing on the exam date because I felt that I wasn't really prepared. I just took a leave from work only a week prior to the exam and that was the only time that I started madly flipping through everything! To make things worse, I was also having a PMS (premenstrual syndrome) days before the exam so I wasted about 2 days lying on bed, feeling nauseated and stressed.
When I arrived at Chrissie's apartment, we were in an elated mood. We were optimistic that we'll really be doctors in 2 weeks. We were boosting our confidence by recalling some people who were struggling through med school but still were able to pass the boards in one take. That was mean, I know. Anyway, I was kinda suprised because it seemed that I was the only one who was not familiar with some "good luck charms" for the boards. Chrissie dragged me to Red Ribbon to buy some empanada. Another one is wearing anything red. I was laughing at Chrissie when she wore all her red undies. I thought it was weird.
The feeling that I wasn't really prepared for the exams grew stronger on the first day when I arrived at the College of Holy Spirit. I was carrying 3 reviewers and discreetly reading some notes when I noticed that nobody was carrying any reviewer, people looked confident in their white coats, smiling and greeting each other, as if it's just an ordinary day at the campus! And most people were in red. I thought it was just one of Chrissie's wild ideas but I was proven wrong. There was even a lady who wore a red top matched with red open toe shoes revealing her red pedicure. And the magic empanada! Yes, it was indeed the official lucky charm that only I don't know about. Some people even brought boxes of it. Now I felt that my fighting chance for the passing the boards was starting to diminish. I was not in red and I don't have empanada. And I thought that it was only for the first day of exams. People continued wearing their red apparel and munching empanadas till the last day of exams.
The difficult moment while taking the boards exams was not really during the exam proper...it was during the 10 to 15 minutes of silence and apprehension while sitting and waiting for our exams to be distributed. It was during these moments that I had flashbacks of my years in med school, images of me sitting in the classroom chatting with my seatmates while the professor was yanking about a particular disease that I hope somehow made its way to my neurons somewhere in my brain. It was also during these tensed moments that I got images of me and my dad, and suddenly my eyes got misty with tears. The first subject was Biochemistry. I managed to have one round of reading on it. I was praying so hard that it would suffice...I was relying on luck and on 4 years of biochemistry lectures in college.
I almost fainted during the first day because of starvation. I thought crackers would be enough to last me for the whole day. Good thing Chrissie shared with me some of her empanadas. Now I believed it was really the "lucky empanada" otherwise I'll be losing consciousness on my exam day. So on the succeeding days I brought with me some power chocolate bars (courtesy of Marky) and some canned coffee. Important tip for the future examinees: Load up!
For me, Anatomy was the worst. I felt really bad about it because I spent more time on it compared to other subjects. It made me feel like I didn't study at all. And Kandi and I were laughing at some items which focused on the physiological basis of arousal in men, like the erection and ejaculation. I think I was able to answer those questions not mainly based on Snell textbook but on some issues of FHM and Cosmo.
After the boards, I completely withdrew myself from the world. This was the time for deep contemplation and sleep. I rarely get up from bed. I found comfort under my blanket. I only get up at night to eat and take a bath. And then I go to hibernation again. The thought that the exam results would be unfavorable was so unberable that I'd rather sleep again. That anatomy exam...grrr...
But God works in mysterious ways...I passed. And so were all my friends who took the board exams. We were blessed.
posted @ 7:12 AM
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Should get a PF
ahem...ahem...professional pala ah...and so should I start getting paid? haha| You Are A Professional Girlfriend! |
 Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. |
posted @ 12:25 PM
I got scared and had panic attack again, and so I decided to blog, but then I saw this from Yzai's blog, so inggitera me strikes again, so here it is...| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
posted @ 12:09 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
An angel in the midst of sadness
Nia Alicia Rabago JacksonJuly 6, 2008
posted @ 9:15 AM
Year 2003...Manila...movie date with friends...who would think that...*sigh*
posted @ 9:02 AM
As a child there were them timesI didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
posted @ 8:01 AM
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Insanity Breaks
My day starts at 5am, plunging early in traffic to get to work at Makati. Good thing korean kids are hardworking students, generally speaking, so there's almost no problem teaching them Bio stuff. They're quick to learn and eager to do homework stuff, otherwise, their strict korean parents might cut off their millions worth of allowance and out-of-the-country-vacation privileges. After the tutorial classes, I go straight to UP Manila to grab a quick lunch and study at the Med library. After choosing a suitable study area (one of those claustrophobic places in the library), I open my book and then start reading the part where I stopped the day before. And then few minutes later, I lift the pages and start measuring the thickness of the pages that remains unread. Then sigh in frustration. Probably an hour later, my chest starts hurting, I feel my pulse racing...I'm going into panic mode again. Realizing how many days are left for the boards make me wanna scream hysterically and then faint...black out. Play dead. There were already 2 people who suggested that I'll take the February boards instead of this August, considering all the other stuff that I need to do everyday besides reviewing. I've also thought of that but waiting for another 6 months is just too long. I must remain brave and should take the risk (*gulp*). I dunno...I'm not really sure how I'm going to pull this off...the eyebags that've transformed already into luggage bags...i'm also having pimple break outs...
the different coping mechanisms: (1) study really really hard, (2) stare blankly at open spaces, (3) give in to the insanity by unbreakable laughter...
...or (4) just be happy and confident about itposted @ 9:20 AM
Saturday, June 07, 2008
We're expecting a baby girl!
There will be a new bootilicious-femme-fatale addition to the Rabago clan coming this June. It's my big sister's first baby...(and you were thinking...)...name still undisclosed. We're all excited. Sadly, I would get to see my niece maybe after 2-3 years, the next time my sister gets home here in the country.
posted @ 11:05 AM
My Favorite Things
Coffee!
Yummy chocolates...
Bags!
Classic Movies
My vanity table
Books books and more books!
Music...
Collectible Miniatures
My fave doll of all times...
Pennylane Alexandria Ianne
Charms and Beads
Letters and Memorabilia
My reliable organizer
My comfy study pillow and mini table
Embroidery stuff
Travelling Down the Memory Lane...
Little Maan
Highschool Blues
UP Pips
PLM College of Medicine
My Porcelain Doll Collection
