About Me

Name: maan

Location: Philippines

i'm a total coffee addict. a hypomanic who runs and flips wild in the wards. has to constantly check on my schedule not because i forget things, but because i just obsessive-compulsively do so. i love singing and dancing so much, i just love having fun. and don't mess around with animals when i'm around, unless you want to be scalpeled down to your bones (just kiddin').

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I was surfing the internet awhile ago for our Pharmacology research when I came across this picture. Remember the college administrator I was talking to you about the other day? I just saw her picture in the internet! Yes, I know, I could hardly believe it myself at first. I mean, she’s not famous or something, she hasn’t done anything of worldwide importance, so how come she has a picture in the net, right? But the more I stare at it, the more I couldn’t ignore the remarkable resemblance…it’s really her! Here’s the more startling thing about it, she has thousands of different pictures of herself posted in the internet!!! If you think I’m just bluffing, take a look at it yourself:

See? I never thought that I'm rubbing elbows with a celebrity everyday in school! Isn't that cool?!

I got really pissed off yesterday. I got into a short disagreement with our college administrator (I’ll try not to use any adjectives about her, though I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold it). Anyway, the clerk forgot to inform us about an important instruction regarding our preliminary registration form (PRF) the other day. Consequently, “the” college administrator won’t sign my PRF unless I make a letter explaining why I failed to accomplish it. If I failed to do so, she won’t allow me to enroll. Rage really hit me so hard, I mean, it’s not the only time that she made a dim-witted decision that could actually have a serious effect on my studies. And since I can’t talk back (that would really put my career into serious trouble), I just cried so hard. It was so pathetic yet it’s the only “allowed” thing to do about it. I tried to explain to her that it’s not my fault, that I should not be punished or treated the same way as the others who failed to go to advising, but it seemed like she won’t let anything prove her point wrong. Remember, she’s “the” college administrator.

In the end of our argument, I realized that it’s useless arguing with her…it’s degrading to even speak to her. What’s the point of arguing with a primordial specie, which I know for sure, possesses a primitive type of brain and wouldn’t possibly have the capacity to comprehend anything I would have to say. She has this brain as small as a pea and as light as a piece of paper. All she can say to me was “we’re not suppose to tell you everything and it’s up to you to ask” repeatedly every after my sentence which only made her sound like there’s this damaged circuit inside her head that’s why she can’t make any response other than that. (I should have conducted a neuro test on her…tsk-tsk-tsk!) I even think that Shian can put up a better and more exciting argument than her (yup, I know I said I’d try not to use adjectives about her, but hey, didn’t I just say “try”?)

I realized that I won’t be in this position, that I won’t feel that my rights have been disregarded and my feelings suppressed, that I won’t be caught in a futile discussion with a so-so specie, if I have not decided to enter this institution. It is this apprehension that low tuition fee means that you have to be “their” slave: you’ll be stripped of your right to ask, to participate, to be properly informed, or simply, to breathe. Anything you say will be used against you. I’ll even be charged for getting a single piece of coupon bond for writing my so-called-request-letter, which I believe was actually bought from the medical fund that my father pays dutifully every semester. Right now, I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. This, and a whole lot more, I have to pay for the price for attaining my degree in Medicine. Not only do I need to strain myself from too much studying (yeah right, I’m just trying to make it sound so good), living a dormant social life (good thing I have my baby to cheer me up), drinking cups and cups of coffee (which by the way, I love doing), but I also have to put up with some wicked and ruthless creatures who happen to roam (and rule) the hallway of the College of Medicine. It’s a whole lot, but I just hope it’ll be all worth it in the end. And when that end comes, hehehehe…it’ll be the end of the Jurassic Age she’s trapped in.

Two days ago I went to visit my alma mater, the University of the Philippines Manila. Janna and I decided to go there because we needed to check out some theses for our Pharmacology research (it never seems to end). Anyway, the moment I entered the gate, I felt nostalgic already (talk about being almost misty-eyed and the like). I gasped out loud when I saw the entrance to the main building because it now has a large engraving above it: Rizal Hall. I almost turned green with envy when I saw the new restrooms. It has new tiles, there’s adequate lighting, and there’s water! Yes, there’s clean water coming out of the miraculously working faucets and the flush is also working! Can you imagine how I survived my 4 years in UP without water?! Although I really thought that it’s a good thing that they finally did some renovations and improved a lot of things in the college lately, I can’t help but feel really envious about the changes. I mean, why only now?! Life isn’t fair sometimes.

Anyway, as we continued our pseudo-field-trip around the campus, the nostalgia got even worse…I swear that I’ve almost felt like a college student again, walking through the corridors, squeezing my way through the “Wailing Hall” to see the list of the students who made it and those who have to try again next sem (or next year), bumping my way through the laboratories or simply drinking Nutrilicious in GAB (Gusaling Andres Bonifacio). I also imagined how my classmates pack themselves inside the DPSM reading room, a.k.a., Biochem reading room. Their usual story-telling, singing, and laughter used to fill that room. The black couch and the aircon that we bought from one of our organization’s project (advance screening of “Serendipity”) are still there (and hopefully still working). And they still have a logbook where anyone can express their frustrations of being a biochem student. Even the old deck of cards that we used to hide from Doc Nicolas is still there. It seems that nothing has changed much in a Biochem student’s life.

I wonder where my friends and classmates are right now. It really is a big world after UP. Life is surely more complicated than Maxwell’s theorems and the molecular and ionic equations that used to drive us crazy. And life is surely filled with people who are far worse than the Chemistry professors who slaved us.

I feel so idle these past few weeks. I have new books to read, list of tasks to do, a cross stitch that has been 2 years in the making already, some vcds to watch…but still, no accomplishment. I can’t really remember how I spent all my afternoons doing nothing, well, except that I’ve discovered some new cool sites in the internet about country style decorating recently. My dog, Shian, needs a bath too but I could always find excuses for not giving him one. I still feel tired and lazy…and somehow I like the feeling of it. Besides, this is actually my last semestral break. The next one will be quite a long one, and that will be after the Physician’s Board Exams. So for now, I’m gonna savor every minute of my sem break, every moment of this boredom, and relishing this short-term dormant lifestyle. Hahaha! I just hope that I’ll feel energized and refreshed for second semester. But I fear that I might still feel fatigued after the break. *sigh*